The scarlet letter

This morning I had an epiphany. I realized why so many members of Girlfriend’s family and in-laws have been treating her the way they have. Their worldview doesn’t allow them to understand polyamory. In their eyes, her choices aren’t about living according to her new values that come from her new understanding of the world. They see it as her simply not being strong enough to live righteously. She is yielding to temptation. If only she had the strength to live up to the truth, she wouldn’t be doing any of this.

In their mind, she isn’t choosing to be polyamorous. She is violating sacred covenants she made with god in his holy temple. And then she has the gall to flaunt it in front of everybody? For shame! “If you’re going to commit adultery, at least have the decency to hide it and feel ashamed, the way we did when we had our affairs.” Amen.


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8 responses to “The scarlet letter”

  1. cocacolafiend says :

    Indeed. If only they realized that secrecy and dishonesty are the things that hurt the most.

    • the frogman says :

      It’s interesting that they would rather Girlfriend sin (and then, hopefully, repent) than that she live with integrity according to beliefs that differ from theirs.

  2. pepsimaxfiend says :

    I guess when religious people claim to be part of the one true faith, they simply can’t accept the premise that a lifestyle contrary to their beliefs has moral integrity. And when this upsets you, they take it as proof that you are secretly sad and ashamed. A lose-lose situation: ignore them and you look like you are ashamed, confront them and you are clearly desperate for their approval and thus have doubts.

    • the frogman says :

      Or do what we did and show up at their doorstep unashamed and unapologetic and watch the fireworks of their reaction.

  3. missyjbetts says :

    It’s unbelieveable how many people are not happy with other people being happy.

  4. Deborah Mitchell says :

    Ah, well. Here you are.

    “In their eyes, her choices aren’t about living according to her new values that come from her new understanding of the world.”

    Funny how values are such changeable, subjective things, things we manipulate to our own wants and desires.

    • the frogman says :

      Hi, Deborah. Thanks for visiting.

      As a Mormon, I was told what my values were. Now that I am no longer a believer, I am free to find my own values. Yes, I settle upon those values based on my wants and desires, meshed together with the way that I view the world now. Is there a better way?

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